Hi! My name is Harvey
by Brendan Storm
Summary: Officer Grayson gets a concussion and starts seeing a large white rabbit. Why?
1. Default Chapter

Title: Hi, My Name is Harvey

Title:Hi, My Name is Harvey

Author: Brendan Storm

Rating: PG

Disclaimers: As usual the DC comics characters are owned and created by

another and I am getting nothing but pleasure from this, but the created

character and the idea are mine dang it, all mine

Warning:Yes I wrote my furry butt into the story.Greeno got to.

Author's Notes:This one's for Cyndi who remembered the alley behind the

Eight Ball a few months back.

"Grayson, you ok?"The voice seemed far away.Officer Dick

Grayson's partner Amy Robarch was scratching her head."How did you manage to be such a klutz with a handgun?"

"Don't... ow, don't like em," Dick rubbed the center of his

forehead.He was sitting on the ground in a seated firing position and his weapon was in his lap.He tasted blood; his lip must have been broken open by the impact."Damn, that bastard has a kick".

"Dirty Harry special kid, how many fingers?"

"Amy?"

"Answer the question, rookie."

"Two, but what's that on the field?"

"Huh?" She looked across the range where he pointed.

"I swear I saw a giant... Aw never mind."He looked at the target range again pulled his own service revolver out and stood in a forward firing stance.The range master gave the all clear and Dick gave the douche bag shaped target in front of him a smile, emptying the weapon.'Hallucinating?' he thought to himself.'Guess I'll stop by Leslie's on the way to Babs' tonight.'

"Amy," he said, "I'll stick with this one, it's safer."

Sgt Robarch gave a small golf clap and then motioned for him to get out of the way.The all clear was given again and she fired once with the huge .45, obliterating the smile.

"Ok Rookie," she shouted at him through the noise."Take it easy."

He waved back blinking as his eyes watered and went inside.He

thought he saw a flash of white fur as he entered the locker room.

*********

"I swear Babs, a giant white rabbit."

"Uh huh, you talked to Doc Thompkins?"

"Yeah, I'm going to drop by there on my way over."

"Oh tonight? Hang on, got another call."There was a click and a pause.Dick sat in his apartment, a steak held against his eye which had begun swelling and turning a nasty shade of purple. 

"Got any beer?"

"In the fridge."

"Thanks."The fridge opened and he could hear two bottle caps hit the floor "Here, drink."

"Thanks... what the?"

"I get that a lot."The voice was deep like a radio announcer's. The face didn't quite go with the voice though.

"Uh... I've seen some strange things, but what are you?"

"I'm a rabbit, a common white rabbit.I'm from a small town in

Califurnia called Los Gatos."

"What?"Dick stared at the rabbit, looked at his beer, and back to the rabbit.The mirrored silver eyepatch across the rabbit's right eye reflected his hasty swig of lager.

"Name's Brendan, y'know the Navigator? Patron saint of sailing

voyages and internet junkies? I'm not really him, but my mom was Irish."

"What are you doing here?"

"Drinking a beer."The rabbit belched."You mention anything about marinating and I'll kick you."The rabbit stroked the tattered scrap that made up his left ear and sank into a recliner.

"Yeah.These are here in case Roy and Wally come over.I meant in my house."

"Apartment"

"Whatever, get another?"

"You having one?"

"Sure, why not.I'm talking to a seven foot rabbit."

"Six six."

"Again, whatever."

"Dick?" The hands free headset chirped in his ear.

"Yeah Babs."

"Were you talking to someone?"

"Yeah."

"There isn't anybody there."

"No bunny?"

"Oh ha ha!"The giant lapin snickered, then wandered into the back room."Woah! What a smell!"

"Babs?"

"Dick?" Dick's voice began to sound a lot like the night when he was nine and trying to get his head out of the banister on the third floor, panicked and a little desperate.Babs panned her "Damn Fine-vision" camera around the bedroom and then back to the living room.There were three empty bottles of Liquid Bread Lager."Are you drinking?"

"He, he gave it to me."

"The rabbit."

"Uh huh."

"You go lie down.I'm calling Leslie.I mean it."

"Yes dear."


	2. 2

Title: Hi, My Name is Harvey Pt Deux

Title:Hi, My Name is Harvey Pt Deux

Author: Brendan Storm

Rating: PG

Disclaimers: As usual the DC comics characters are owned and created by

another and I am getting nothing but pleasure from this, but the created

character and the idea are mine dang it, all mine

Warning:Yes I wrote my furry butt into the story.Greeno got to.

Author's Notes:This one's for Cyndi who remembered the alley behind the

Eight Ball a few months back.

"Concussion, bruised nose and a black eye."Leslie smiled at the young man on her examining table."You need observation for the next twenty four hours and no saving the world, but you never did listen to me did you Dicky?"

"Dicky?"The fluorescent light glinted off of the lapin's mirrored eye patch.

"Leslie, I'm hallucinating a talking rabbit.That's not a normal concussion."

"A white rabbit?Describe him."

Dick held Barbara's hand and lay back.He thought about hallucinating things, which was common with Crane.Talking white rabbits were indicative of Lewis Carrol and Tetch.He also thought about the situation this afternoon with Amy and the handgun.

"As far as I can factually describe a hallucination.Rabbit, white in color, male, according to him he's six foot six.He's wearing a black t-shirt, forest camouflage pants, military issued and an eye patch over the right eye.Looks like a nasty scar tracing over to the left ear."

"Psychiatrists could probably be able to explain the details, but I'm at a loss," Leslie said.

"Explosion in ninety eight," Brendan said quietly.

"Explosion?" Dick asked.

"Well yes that would be one explanation." Leslie replied. "But why would yousubconsciously create a scarred lapin anthropomorph?"

"We prefer furries."

"Whatever, why are you here?" Dick asked exasperated.

You have to discover that for yourself, Dicky." The rabbit smiled.

***

"Leslie," Babs asked once they were outside the hospital room."Is he ok?"

"Besides the concussion, you mean? It's got a long name, but it boils down to that he's conjured himself a "Harvey" which under normal circumstances means that the stress of working three jobs and being in a new relationship has finally gotten to him."

"Normal circumstances?"

"Yes, dear.This means I haven't ruled out gas, telepathic attack or transmission to his brain by invisible headband.I'm afraid we have to do a little more research than normal when Dick is concerned."

"Yes, he does run in those kinds of circles.What can we do?"

"Unless he gets dangerous, it's best to humor him.You do have a psychiatrist friend who knows about his 'jobs?'' 

"Only one I could trust."

"Call him."

"Bruce is going to love this," Babs sighed."They hate going to the moon." 

****

Inside the room, Dick lay in bed trying to block out the chatty rabbit.

"Come on, it's word association.That's all.You say something and I respond.You can prove I'm not a figment of your imagination.Come on, Dick, or should I say Nightwing, or do you prefer WFB?" Dick put a pillow over his head."Come on!Say something!"

"Sleep"

"Deprivation"

"Nap!"

"Kin!" Dick lay quiet.A stabbing pain shot between his eyes.It might lose interest and go away."Hey, wake up over there, it's a concussion, no losing consciousness." 

"I don't have time for this."

"For what? Healing?Resting once in a while?"

"Wasting my time on a concussion.I have to be at the tower in two hours, and then I have to train and tail a shipment of stolen goods on the wharf all before work in the morning."

"Busy day planned.Better call em and tell em you won't be there.You're going to get some rest if I have to beat it into you."

"I am not.I have responsibilities, and you're a figment of my imagination.You can not beat anything into me."Dick stared defiantly at the figment.

"I can point out that your beautiful, delectable older girlfriend is very worried about you and is wondering if she should book you a stay in the holiday inn side of Arkham."There was a knock at the door. 

"Hey, hunk wonder, I have to make a couple calls, before I get you out of here.You going to be ok?"

"Oh, sure, Contact Robin and tell him about the heist tonight, hon?And um, can we not mention this to Bruce just yet?"

"Tim's in lockdown at Brentwood, I'll call Cass.And Bruce already knows.We're taking a trip in a little while."

"Where?"

"Watchtower."

"Awwww, not there.Why there?"

"Because J'onn wants to see you."

"J'onn?The Martian Manhunter?So cool!"The rabbit gushed.

"Oh Crap," said Dick.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Hi, My Name is Harvey being the Third part  
  
Author: Brendan Storm  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimers: As usual the DC comics characters are owned and created by  
  
another and I am getting nothing but pleasure from this, but the created  
  
character and the idea are mine dang it, all mine  
  
Warning: Yes I wrote my furry butt into the story. There are also lousy puns in it too.  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks go out to the weirdo who nominated the first two parts in the DFA for 2001. You're weird and I like you. Also to Charlene and Tammy who helped me get outta my slump and finish this chapter. Movin on.  
  
Previously on Hi! : Dick got whacked in the head so hard that he started seeing and conversing with a white rabbit furry (anthropomorphic animal) was tested by Doc Leslie who determined that Dick is seeing what shrinks call a "Harvey" after the movie with Jimmy Stewart. Babs decided that if this was mental, then the best person to look at him was J'onn J'onzz the Martian Manhunter. We now begin our tale.  
  
The stack of Oreos was six high and the green Martian, J'onn J'onzz, carefully placed the seventh, meditating on the tranquility of the moment that was so rare in the Watchtower. He slipped an eighth in his mouth and savored the contrast between chocolate bitter cookie and sweet soft filling.  
  
A monitor light flashed. Oracle, a recent addition to the JLA, although frequently invaluable and talented hero in her own right, was sending a message to him specifically. He added another Oreo to the tower and accepted the message. It read: J'onn your expertise and discretion is appreciated. The patient will be available in one minute. Oracle.  
  
One minute later, on cue, the transport mechanism engaged and two unfamiliar faces appeared.  
  
`J'onn, it's good to meet you finally,' the woman fairly shouted in her mind to him. People who'd never spoken telepathically tended to do that around him when they wanted him to hear them. The familiar feeling dawned on him finally.  
  
"Oracle," he said out loud. "So good to see you on the moon. I could have come to you."  
  
"I've always wanted to come in person and besides, you're on watch."  
  
"Are we there yet?" The patient, Dick Grayson stepped off the platform.  
  
"Yes hunk wonder, you can open your eyes." Barbara rolled out and over to the transporter monitors.  
  
"Oh God, I really hated that."  
  
"Oh Man that RULED!!!!" Dick groaned. It had followed him.  
  
"J'onn, can you help him?" She sounded worried. Love rolled off her towards the young man with the bandaged head.  
  
"I'll do whatever I." The Martian and the rabbit locked eyes. J'onn actually turned a paler shade of green and bolted from the room.  
  
"What the.!?!" The three said together.  
  
Two minutes later, a slightly shaken voice emitted from the console.  
  
"Nightwing, I am aware of the condition you are engrossed in at this time. It is a delicate crisis you face, but the only person who can work through it is you. I'm sorry I could not be of more assistance, but I have come down with a. a migraine. Due to my telepathic nature, I would appreciate the solitude of the moon. Thanks for stopping in." The transporter lit up.  
  
"Great, don't let the screen door hit ya on the way out. You know he's a lot more high strung since last time I met him." Brendan said.  
  
"It's ok, Babs, I have ten minutes to get changed and be in the Titan's Tower for training anyway. Time waits for no man."  
  
"Tempus Fugit." The rabbit corrected. Dick stared at him.  
  
"Don't help."  
  
"Ok, short pants, but you take it easy. You work too hard. I'll set the coordinates for you." Oracle expertly switched the coordinates to New York, then kissed Nightwing on the cheek before he stepped back into the machine.  
  
"Energize! Heh I alway..." Mercifully the giant lapin was cut short by the dematerialization. Dick suddenly found himself in the control center at the Tower. He stepped out of the transporter as the rabbit suddenly continued. "s wanted to say that. You know that's actually punny in two ways?"  
  
"You give Edward Nygma a bad name, rabbit," the cranky hero said.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Roy Harper, the hero known as Arsenal to his adoring fans and daddy to his most important fan was having a tough time with his worst nemesis, his daughter.  
  
"Honey, it's nap time, you need to lie down."  
  
"Don't wanna."  
  
"Come on princess, it's four thirty and time for your nap. Rose will be here when you get up and Uncle Nightwing will be here for supper."  
  
"Don't WANNA!"  
  
"Lian. Don't make me get Aunt Donna." That set off a keening cry from the little girl. Things had changed since the Joker incident between them. Roy was trying not to take it personally, but after the conversation with Kyle Rayner, who had also been affected, he knew something had to change between the two of them.  
  
"Did you try the handcuffs?" Roy winced inwardly. To the rest of the Titans he was the loveable screw up for so long that he had done everything he could to be a good father for his daughter. Nightwing's off the cuff remark struck a nerve, but he shrugged it off.  
  
"She got out of them in ten minutes. I can't believe he used to do that to you."  
  
"Ten?" Dick laughed. "Took me an hour the first time, but I had to find a paperclip too."  
  
"My kid's got great genes."  
  
"Good lungs too," said Dick. "Hey, little one. How come you're not having a nap?"  
  
"DON'T WANNA!!!! DON'T WANNA!!!! DON'T WANNA!!!"  
  
"Oy,." The two men said and closed her bedroom door.  
  
"Roy, walk with me. I need some advice."  
  
"Hang on a sec, Robbie. I have to get a pen."  
  
"Oh," Dick sighed, "everybody's a comedian. I need some help here."  
  
"Sure, sure. What do you need? And what's up with your head, lose a fight with Robin?"  
  
"Lost an argument with a handgun. Recoil popped it right up and that's kinda my problem."  
  
"You know if you hold it at waist level like this," Roy held the pen with both hands tight to his stomach in center mass. "You have better control and perps can't grab it out of your hands."  
  
"Thanks I'll remember that, but no the problem is that I'm having a slight side effect of the concussion. Hallucinations."  
  
"Oh great, Robbie, rub in the addiction." Dick looked hurt and Roy smiled. "I'm kidding. You know if you need me for anything I'll be there for you. You're family."  
  
"Thanks," said Dick. He ran his hand through his raven hair. Roy could hear the wheels grinding as if he was having a hard time getting his words out.  
  
"Spit it out, man!"  
  
"I'm not having the usual everyday hallucinations, you know, spots or Scarecrowesque death heads or anything. It's a rabbit." Roy's eyes widened. "It's a really tall rabbit wearing clothes and making wisecracks. It responds to me, and it is driving me crazy. I don't have time for this."  
  
"Totem."  
  
"Why I came to you. Kinda strange for a totem though. Camouflaged pants."  
  
"Strange is rabbit, I always had you pegged as Bat's."  
  
"That sounded possessive."  
  
"It is. Usually when you see totems is on a vision quest, you know, from the Doors?"  
  
"Thanks for dumbing it down for the paleface. Brave Bow." Dick ducked a playful punch as they entered the training area. Dick had his mask on, but the sweatpants and t-shirt were more suited to work outs than crime fighting.  
  
"Anyway, it takes meditation, solitude, quiet, inner peace, and not eating for like two or three days in the hot sun. Lots of fun."  
  
"Sounds like."  
  
"But, at the end of it, your totem, the first animal that you see, comes over and talks to you. You learn its lesson, find wisdom."  
  
"What did you see?"  
  
"That'd be telling. Besides I was like twelve. I wanted to hear more about girls than animal wisdom," Roy replied. "Point is, you have to listen to it. It's there for a reason."  
  
"To drive me nuts?"  
  
"Or, make you lighten up," this time the redheaded archer ducked a punch. "What?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Dick said as he warmed up, "Do they bring you beers?"  
  
"Oh I like him. Keep him."  
  
"You keep him. I'm just surprised he's not here now."  
  
"No?"  
  
"No, he went quiet when I stopped in at your room. With Lian."  
  
"Who is not screaming." Roy's eyebrow went up. "Naah."  
  
"Couldn't be." Dick agreed. They both started running for her room.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Next issue: Lian meets a friend, and the long awaited Bruce vs. Brendan joke off. See ya in 30? 


	4. Being the fourth and long overdue part

Title: Hi, My Name is Harvey being the fourth and long overdue part  
  
Author: Brendan Storm  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimers: As usual the DC comics characters are owned and created by  
  
another and I am getting nothing but pleasure from this, but the created  
  
character and the idea are mine dang it, all mine  
  
Warning: Yes I wrote my furry butt into the story. There are also lousy puns in it too. Also in this one be aware that I wanted to do the Clue send up just like it was, but we had to keep it moving and I couldn't think of anything to brain him with. I do, however love them Tim Curry movies.  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks go out to Charlene and Tammy who helped me get a plot and to the guys at TITANS who still haven't explained Lian's outbursts yet.  
  
Previously on Hi! : Dick got whacked in the head so hard that he started seeing and conversing with a white rabbit furry (anthropomorphic animal) was tested by Doc Leslie who determined that Dick is seeing what shrinks call a "Harvey" after the movie with Jimmy Stewart. Babs decided that if this was mental, then the best person to look at him was J'onn J'onzz, the Martian Manhunter. But J'onn took one look and bolted. Dick went to the Titans Tower for a meeting and Dick's imaginary friend met Lian Harper, daughter of Arsenal, punching bag of fan-ficdom. We now begin our tale…  
  
"Daddy doesn't play with me anymore." The little Asian girl said. She dried her tears with a bed sheet. The little girl, Lian Harper, lay on her bed upside down and stared at the biggest plush bunny she'd ever seen. It was talking to her like on one of those Nicktoons.  
  
"But you have lots of new friends, don't you?" The white rabbit asked. The reflection of the nightlight on the end table glanced off his silver eye patch.  
  
"I like Daddy."  
  
"I do too, hon. He's funny."  
  
"Daddy's the bestest. He and Rose teached me to do a cartwheel. Wanna see?" Lian promptly jumped up and did a cartwheel for the giant rabbit sitting at the foot of her bed. Brendan clapped appreciatively. "He don't play no more. Just Tells What Do."  
  
"You know he's a hero, Lian. He gets busy."  
  
"Uh huh," she said not understanding. "But he don't play no more."  
  
Roy Harper, the girl's father, and best looking single parent in the Titans at the moment, could not see the lapin (that's fancy talk for rabbit, but as a good writer I try not to say bunny rabbit too many times in the same page, get me? You Are learning from fan fiction, ain't that keen?) that was talking to his daughter. His companion, Dick Grayson could. Or he could have if he hadn't actually collapsed when his team mate's daughter spoke to the figment of his imagination.  
  
The figment looked up at the sound of a collapsing superhero and chuckled. Lian began giggling too, and rolled on the floor.  
  
"He's funny" she giggle spoke.  
  
"He's why I'm here." Brendan winked at her.  
  
"Daddy says he needs to get laid more." She said conspiratorially. Roy covered his face with his hand and groaned.  
  
"What else is bugging you, punkin?" asked Brendan. He helped the little one climb into bed, trying to fight to stay awake as only a toddler can do.  
  
"Them other kids were dumb. I'm still mad at them."  
  
"That's not all, is it?"  
  
"Daddy," she sniffed and hugged the soft white furry. "Daddy made mommy go away." Roy sighed and started to walk into the room. He couldn't hear the next question. "I know she's bad. But Daddy can make her better." Again there was a pause as she sniffled. "He makes me sit in time out when I'm bad."  
  
"Sometimes," Roy said slowly, "time out just doesn't work, honey." He pulled the covers up and tucked his little one into bed. Dick sat up and groaned in the doorway. "Time out is for good girls who sometimes mess up. It's not for bad people. Bad people need help, and your mommy needs help we can't give her." The heartfelt way he said it made Roy realize that he finally was telling the truth to himself about the woman he loved.  
  
"I want mommy," she pleaded through heavy lidded eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry." Roy bent down and kissed her forehead. Then he looked to his shoes and asked out loud, "How do I tell her that her mother's evil."  
  
"You're doing fine, Roy." The rabbit said. Although the man could not hear him consciously, he continued, "Check on your friend." Roy went to Dick and gave him a hand up.  
  
"Dude. You look wiped. You should rest. You want to call off the training until you schedule some sack time?"  
  
"Why does everyone seem to think I have time to waste?" The dark haired man said angrily.  
  
"Because," both friend and figment said at the same time, "you sound like your bat."  
  
*** *** ***  
  
One hour later, Roy was in the kitchen, sandwich in hand quietly trying to explain what was going on to the other members of the team.  
  
"It could be a hypertime hallucination. You know, a world where animals became real and only he's seeing it."  
  
"It's a totem. It talked to Lian. I thought she'd get a hawk like I did, but I think it's here for Dick."  
  
"Totems? We have spiritual guides in Atlantean myth, too. I remember Atlan said once that they had specific messages for you."  
  
"Them's the ones, Gillhead."  
  
"Bite me, Roy."  
  
"That was good, you've been practicing."  
  
"Thanks, Rose taught me." Garth beamed.  
  
"I mean, we all thought he'd snap some day, right? Figured he'd burn out, or just start yelling at us with all that anger he likes to swallow, and we kinda planned for that, right? What do we do if he goes all nutso and he's talking to imaginary friends and stuff even admitting it's a totem or a spirit guide or something mystical?" Roy shoved the sandwich into his mouth and began to chew.  
  
"I think we should just observe him. I'll talk to him after the training." The peacemaker sister of Wonder Woman said quietly. Donna Troy was like a sister to Dick, and had even dated Roy in a rebellious streak. Roy still would not admit, even under extreme torture, that he missed her.  
  
"And by the way, this nulls the bet where we said Robin would be the one to go nuts and start talking to an imaginary friend." Roy said quickly.  
  
"Oh no you don't Roy. I had the bet down, you owe me a fifty," said Tempest  
  
"But he's not Robin anymore."  
  
"Not the point, pony up, I think is the surface phrase." Roy pulled his wallet and passed the bill to his friend.  
  
"The bet was on the new robin anyways." The redhead muttered.  
  
"Again, not the point." Tempest handed the bill to Donna who put it in her pocket. "Here, I don't need surface money." The purple eyes twinkled as he grinned at Roy who was spluttering. Donna laughed, annoyingly beautifully and musically.  
  
  
  
*** *** ***  
  
The training session was held in one of the gyms set up for such an occasion. The place looked like a police encounter range with buildings and ample space for people to hide and attack, as well as fly around and work on assault or rescue tactics. It reminded Brendan of something out of Counter-Strike or Unreal Tournament video games.  
  
"So you're not going to take a nap, huh?"  
  
"I do not have time for that. I do not have time for you. I am not becoming like Him either."  
  
"Hey, you're the one seeing imaginary friends. Tempest won the bet by the way."  
  
"Good for him. Go away for a couple hours will you? Play in traffic or something. Go tease J'onn for a while or something." Dick was exhausted, angry and upset with himself for getting into this predicament. The rabbit grating on his nerves and being a rude fan boy didn't help either. The others began to file into the room as Nightwing stood at the ready. Grayson thought for a couple moments about swatting the apparition with his escrima sticks a few times for fun, but that would make him look like he was losing it, and he was not losing it.  
  
"My goddess, is she 18 yet cause I am so wanting to peel that suit offa there and see what else is white..." The rabbit salivated as Argent walked into the training room in her current skintight costume. She was wearing a pair of Jessie Quick's earrings. Oddly enough when Jessie walked in Dick noticed she had a set of Toni's T's on her ears. They looked good. Then he remembered he had a girlfriend.  
  
"Oh no you don't. You be quiet. If you have to be here I am ignoring you but you do not describe those disgusting Thoughts while I'm working with her, do you get me?"  
  
"Ok, Roy, he's kookoo," Garth muttered.  
  
"I AM NOT KOOKOO!!!" Nightwing shouted. Finally, thought the rabbit. He'd started to crack.  
  
"Dude, you're shouting." Roy supplied.  
  
"I'M NOT SHOUTING!!!!" was the angry reply. Donna coughed. "ALRIGHT I'M SHOUTING! FINE! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUTING! BE THAT WAY!"  
  
"Dick... honey... everyone's worried about you. They want me to talk to you because there's a rumor around that you're seeing things.  
  
"It's not a tumor, Donna." He misheard. The rabbit snickered.  
  
"Dick..."  
  
"Donna?"  
  
"Rocky?" The rabbit chimed in.  
  
"Don't walk away when I'm talking to you. It's rude, and it's the first sign that you're in denial about something and if you're in denial, then that means something's wrong. Obviously there's something you're in denial of."  
  
" I'm not in denial, except that I'm denying that I'm in denial." Dick protested.  
  
"Classic case," said Brendan.  
  
"You shut up, rabbit."  
  
"Dick..." Donna began again.  
  
"Oh we're doing this again?" the rabbit quipped. He stuck his tongue out at Nightwing.  
  
"We don't want to have to force you to relax…" she continued.  
  
"Well they could." Brendan interjected. "A nice tazer, some demon blood possibly even some grub worms from that Flash Gordon movie with Queen. Those turned me on. Or possibly it was the chick and the hands …"  
  
"Because it'll end up messy, things will be broken, and there will be hard feelings. Can't you just do this for me?" she pleaded with him.  
  
"Baby I'd do anything for you," grinned the lapin.  
  
"Pervert."  
  
"Dick... talk to me. Not the... rodent thing."  
  
"Donna. I am seeing a rude obnoxious stupid rabbit in army fatigues. I don't need a shrink. I need an exorcist, and this team needs to train. Now I love you like a sister, but take the flank and try to attack Argent's weak points while I go after Jessie."  
  
"That's what I'm talkin bout!"  
  
"Pervert!!" Seeing that there was no way anything could be accomplished now, he stormed out of the training room.  
  
"By the way, Roy. I know you can't hear me, but I kind of have to say this." Brendan leaned in real close to the archer and screamed "TELL HER YOU STILL LOVE HER YOU DAMN MORON!" Then he brushed himself down and followed Dick. Roy stood there and blinked several times.  
  
"There's only one thing to do," Donna sighed. "I'm calling his father."  
  
"Bruce?" Roy said, in a haze.  
  
"He's the only one who can make him do anything he doesn't want to do."  
  
To be concluded…. 


	5. Final Part (5/5)

Title:  Hi, My Name is Harvey being the Final Part (5/5)

Author: Brendan Storm

Rating: PG

Disclaimers: As usual the DC comics characters are owned and created by

another and I am getting nothing but pleasure from this, but the created

character and the idea are mine dang it, all mine

Warning:  Yes I wrote my furry butt into the story.  There are also lousy puns in it too. Author's Notes:  This one is for everybody who's been clamoring for Brendan to match wits with Batman.  BTW because of the recent stories, I wanted to mention this is before 10c adventure.  

            "I see.  I will be on the way shortly."  The sound of tapping keys echoed in the vast cavern under Stately Wayne Manor.  A dark sinister figure glared at the screen.  The glow from the CRT cast shadows off his jaw.  He sniffed the air and frowned.  Ginger.  It was Wednesday, Wednesdays were peanut butter.

            "I regret to inform that we are out of peanut butter.  Someone has been making sandwiches while I was away with Master Tim."  The figure grunted.  "Problem, I take it?"  The impeccably dressed butler stood to the right of the figure.  A plate of ginger snaps were cooling in the tray in his hands.

            "Nightwing has succumbed to the stress of his work.  He's seeing things."  The dark figure replied.  He reached up for a cookie, and pulled his stinging and suddenly struck hand away from the plate.  

            "As opposed to your talking to shadows and trying to not be Bruce Wayne."

            "Alfred…"

            "Yes sir.  I'll just get the scuba gear and clean the penny."  The old man took the plate with him, but not before offering a warm cookie to the young blonde woman standing at the masked man's left.  

            "Noted."   Batman whipped his cape around and walked for the car.  

            "Anything I can help with?" The blonde sidekick asked.

            "Patrol my city.  Call for help.  Do not engage.  Do not make me regret… scratch that.  I already regret this.  Just be careful."

            "Yes, sir."   In the subconscious section of the personality he thought of as Bruce Wayne he had a twinge of guilt for ever bringing the former secret service agent on, but better to have her in costume than out and able to be used as an identifier.  It would be so much easier if he didn't have these conflicting feelings, secrets to keep or people to take care of.  Then again, he heard the memory of a shot and a woman's scream and remembered that Wayne was the reason he existed.  Gordon was the reason he thrived on these streets and Grayson had made him able to work with others.  He didn't want to admit that these were the reasons he didn't feel alone anymore either. 

            The car rocketed out onto the freeway and along the coast to New York and in a matter of an hour he had arrived at the Titans Tower.  Driving in traffic at speeds in excess of 100mph was one of the few pleasures of being who he was.   He noticed the lax in security since the last destruction of the tower, and the holographic projector that displayed the fake T was out of alignment by a quarter of a centimeter on the south side.  He would discuss this with Troia at a later date.

            His son needed him.  The thought of son was strange, but he had felt it was needed to keep the young man in his life.  It was something Wayne wanted, had thought of doing for several years now, since Jason.  The track of this memory had gone cold; he altered his thought.  His soldier needed him.  He stepped out of the car and keyed the alarm.  The members of Nightwing's team gathered uncomfortably around him.  

            "Man, you're just the guy we've been…"

            "Where is he?"  Batman growled.  Roy showed him down the stairs to the holding cell they had Nightwing in.  The man was pacing like a caged animal.  He was shouting at something that seemed to be out of the view of the window.  His face was red and veins were popping out of his forehead.  "How long has he been like this?"

            "We put him in there when he almost drown himself in the pool.  He was trying to strangle something only he could see."

            "Magic?"

            "I can't sense anything," came the reply shyly from Garth Curry.  

            "Anyone else?"

            "Sir?"  Roy inquired.  

"Does… anyone… have… any… theories?"  Batman slowed his words down in contempt for the cocky redhead.

"It's a totem, sir."  Roy said.  

"Explain."

"A totem, a spirit guide who has something to tell him.  He won't listen.  This makes the animal angry.  Just like how you listened to Bat.  He must listen to this one.  Tkele-cho-g. *" Roy smiled quietly at Batman and turned to watch his friend.  He didn't see the cold look given to him by the cowled figure.  

"Anything else?"  There was silence.  "Anyone?"  Jessie Quick coughed quietly and the nanny, Rose Wilson, shifted uncomfortably, but no one spoke.  "Let me hear."  The button was pressed and the ranting from his former partner was audible to the room.  

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH If you sing that one more fucking time I'll cut out your other eye you damn freak!"  Garth shuddered and backed away from the screen.  His wife Dolphin took him in her arms.  " What is the matter with you that you can't shut up for one minute?  … No!  I don't want to hear about it! I don't want to think about it, she's like a sister." Donna blushed.  Batman glared.  "I have a girlfriend!  AAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!"  

"Turn it off."

"He's making it mad when he won't listen.  It'll get worse and worse until he'll need a straight jacket."  

"He scares me."  Toni said from the back of the room.  "He was so cool and collected, y'know.  He was so with it.  Now he's all scary." She shivered and a loud thud echoed against the wall.  "He might hurt himself in there."

"How long has he been like this?"

"He's been declining since Gotham opened back up.  He has a girlfriend. He's mentioned that.  He has his police job, us, and patrolling his city.  He's been heading this way for a while.  Robin says he relies on Oracle too much and gets hit in the head by thugs all the time.  He's forgotten half the stuff you taught him, and he's devoted himself to too much."  Donna Troy, voice of truth and almost exactly as beautiful as her sister said.  Batman regarded her coldly.  

"I will take him.  He needs rest and he needs retraining if it's as bad as that."

"Typical.  Being neglected was a blessing."  Roy spat.  "That isn't going to help, man." Harper said.  Batman glared at him again.  "Training and more work is not what he needs."

"You know what he needs?  You asked for me."

"We asked for Bruce.  He doesn't need you." Donna Troy said, arms folded over her chest.  "Did you stop to think that you could be his problem?"

            "You called.  I came."  He said angrily.  There were five methods open to him at this second to make her unconscious, three to make her stop breathing.

            "We called his father."  She retorted.

            "He died." Batman said callously.

            "Bruce Wayne died recently?"  Contempt ran from her words in even more force than his previous attempt.  

            "I see your point.  You don't need me."  He turned and looked at Nightwing again, and out of the corner of his eye he saw a flash of white.  "Wait."  He looked again and saw nothing.  "Let me in there."

            "You saw it?"  Roy almost jumped.  

            "I saw something.  Open the door."  They did, and he entered the interrogation room.  There was nothing in the white room except Nightwing and shreds of his shirt.  

"Nightwing.  Report."

            "Bru.. Batman?  Is that you?  Of course it's you. You're real.  You'll help me.  You're my dad."

            "Report."  The bat said harshly.

            "I'm going insane, I think.  I'm trying to fight it, but it won't stop.  SHUT UP!!  I'm talking to my dad here." Batman was faintly aware of a space that looked like a heat distortion.  There was a buzz in the upper registers of his hearing.  It was faint, but there was a sense of something else in the room.  "I think I'm seeing a white rabbit."

            "Mad Hatter.  Strip."

            "It's not him."  He inched away from the older man.  "I saw it before, in my officer uniform."

            "You showered?"

            "Yes.  No, I won't tell him that."

            "What?"

            "He said to introduce him." Dick lied.

            "Fine."  Batman sat down and crossed his legs.  He still looked like he could pounce on evil at any moment, his jaw muscle jumped in an attempt to relieve the tension in his body.  

            "Batman, this is Brendan.  Brendan, this is… yes it is.  What?  You gotta be kidding."  He covered his face with his hand.  He removed his mask.  "Fine.  Brendan, this is my adopted dad, Bruce."  Batman recoiled slightly as Dick removed the cowl from his head.  He keyed a squelch on his utility belt that caused all cameras and listening devices to go nuts.  

            "Brendan." Batman said. Dick reacted to the shimmer, which seemed to come closer.  There was nothing there, but his subconscious could feel the presence of another.  

            "Yeah," Dick was talking for the unseen thing now, repeating what he heard for the larger man.  "The Navigator, the finder of lost ways.  You have a problem with that?  It's a fluke anyway I got this gig.  He lost his way, his purpose.  But you.  You've lost yourself, man.  Are you in there or has vengance taken over your senses?"  Dick's eyes seemed to roll back into his head as he spoke.  "You've lost yourself."

            "I am what I am.  Why are you here?"

            "To lead the way, dude.  I'm sent as a mental kick in the ass for this dipshit.  He has a great job, a great woman, and great friends, but if he doesn't slow down, he's going to kill himself, and it will be his fault.  Dude, I never would have thought I'd have to come to you.  But I've been doing this for a long time.  After Topeka I visited your friend Kal.  After Wally came back from that Kobra thing a few years ago I visited him too.  And J'onn, I've been hanging out with J'onn off and on for years now."  

            "Why not me?"

            "Why is it that every time I meet one of you people the first thing out of their yaps is 'Go bug batman, he needs you more.' I never needed to.  You used to like being all uptight and the Boy Scout.  You were Trustworthy, Honest, ok not cheerful thrifty and kind, but you sure knew your knots and had a frickin merit badge for kicking ass.  Well, not Boy Scout exactly, then, more like a Mountie.  Always prepared, ever vigilant.  Always get your man, or woman, or gator or mud monster, or muppet, or whatever.  That's it.  A Dark, sinister bad ass Mountie.  You enjoyed your work, took pride in it.  Both of you did.  Now, there's something festering in him, and you… you lost everything, you just don't know it yet.  I wish I could tell you, man.  Fine girl too."

            "Explain."

            "No.  Drop the whole single phrase bullshit and tell this joker what he needs to hear.  From your lips, not the Bat's not as an order, but yours."  
            "I am the Bat."

            "Bullshit."

            "There is nothing else."

            "Bullshit again, you fucking child.  Your best friend leaves you and you push everyone away except the one person who's been forced onto you?  You refuse all help when you have literally a family to turn to?  You're not a great detective. You're fucking Dr. Watson compared to a real detective."  

            "Get out of him.  I don't know what you are but get out of him."

            "What, because I'm saying truth?  Bring in the chick with the hooters and the bondage fetish.  See if it's not true."  

            "Stop.  If I do this, you'll leave?"

            "Nothing in life is guaranteed, but I'd say he'll listen to you.  Why, I have no clue."

            "He's a good soldier."

            "So was the dead one.  Do something."  And then Dick's eyes rolled back into place.  The shimmer in his mind's eye moved away and Dick began coughing violently.

            "Dick.  Are you ok?"

            "Yeah, that was awful.  I feel like I had fur in my mouth."

            "Did you hear any of that?"

            "No.  I think I blacked out."  

            "You need to rest.  I can't use you if you aren't up to par."  That wasn't how to say it.  He tried again.  "I mean, you're going to hurt yourself if you don't slow down.  I may need you at a moment's notice, but I can't rely on you if you're not on top of your performance.  No, wait."  The shimmer came closer.  It seemed angry now.  

Flustered, Batman tried to think of another way to say this, a Bruce Wayne way to say it, but that fool would have flubbed the words too.  How would his father have said this?  "Dick.  This isn't healthy.  You're doing too much.  You can't continue all this or you'll drive yourself into the ground.  I think this is just a warning sign."  He decided to take a different tactic.  He coughed slightly and tried to sound convincing.  "Something has a plan for you, son.  You have to be ready."  That didn't work at all.  He sighed and finally said, "Just do what I've always taught you.  Find out what the problem is.  Then solve it."  Bruce looked for the heat ripple.  It was still there.  He buried his head in his arms and said angrily,  "Listen…  Listen to the… thing.  Hear what it says."  He sighed.  "If it is what Harper says, you won't be rid of it until you do."

            "I can't."

            "Yes you can."

            "It wants me to stop doing what I love, Bruce.  It wants me to…"

            "I never said stop, dummy." Brendan said.  Bruce looked around.  He couldn't see the shimmer, but he could hear the voice, sad and hurt.  "All I said was to slow down.  Take a break.  A vacation.  Go to Disney world, or Six Flags and ride the roller coaster.  Be pampered by your beautiful girlfriend who is finally warming up to you and cares so very much about her former boy wonder.  Cut back, but don't stop.  You do love this, as much as he used to.  Be there for him, he'll need you in the next few months, he'll need your faith.  But he'll be lost if you don't rest."

            "Rest?"

            "Rest, chum."  Bruce replied.

            "Chum.  Ew."

            "What?"

            "Ripped up fish guts."

            "What?"

            "You are from a New England old money state and you don't remember that chum is what they use to attract fish?"  The voice of the rabbit was full of mirth.  Dick stared at Bruce openmouthed.  

            "He wore yellow and red and stood out so well.  What else could I call the boy?"

            "Holy shit, you do have a sense of humor."  Dick said slowly.  "Fine.  I'm going to need to call my boss at the precinct."  The cowl came up and the privacy device came off.  "Thank you, Batman."

            "Thank Harper.  Damn it."

            Three days later a visibly sunburned man in cargo pants and a t-shirt reading "I ate the worm." sat in a lounger on the beach of a Caribbean shore.

            "Excuse me, sir?"

            "Yes."

            "I asked for a Mai Tai.  This is a Pina Colada."  

            "I'm sorry?"  The cabanna boy looked like a deer in the headlights of the Car.

            "Also I asked for no salt.  Look at this, there are big grains , Big Grains of salt! I swear, I'll take my American dollars to a competing resort."  A still blindingly white hand slapped the American in the back of the head.  "Ow."

            "Drink yer drink, man wonder."

            "Yes dear."  The cabana boy broke and ran from the tourists and back to his towel room.  Miles away, a white rabbit sat in front of a coffee shop and watched for the telltale green glow of his next mission's subject.

THE END 

*TKELE-CHO-G according to the website http://www.history.navy.mil/faqs/faq61-4.htm is the code word for the letter j, or in more literal Navaho, the word jackass.  Most native languages don't have curse words like English, but Roy's inventive.  


End file.
